When things aren't what they seem.

I may have offended someone I love and care dearly. I may have also took that person for granted. And I would do just about anything to make it up to that person. To the person whom it may concern, I just want to say I'm really sorry. I never meant for this to happen. And I don't intend for it too happen. But we both know for the fact that our lives are revolved around things which are bigger than just us. I know it may be hard to make things back to normal. And I do know that the feeling is not what it used to be. You said it isn't mutual anymore. You said things changed too much. The environment has much and deeply affected us. But I swear upon my name, I don't want this to happen. If only time was reversible ... I really hope we all can be rational. It's not an easy task and I'm aware of it. We may have different thoughts and feelings now - after all this - but don't let go of our past. I'm not asking you to hold on to it, I'm begging you. Don't you dare to forget the days when our lives were a bed of roses, when nothing else in the world mattered. We all can make it work. Our lives can go back to the way it was before ... Long before it was interfered by unwanted obstacles.

Did it ever occur to you that perhaps all this shit that's tumbling upon us is a mere test just to prove and show our patience?
Did it ever occur to you that the more it's hurting you, the more guilty I feel? The more selfish I feel? For not letting you go ... Because at the end of the day, you'll be asking for forgiveness EVEN when you know it's not your fault.

You'll be saying things I want to hear. Things which are supposed to come out from my own mouth. But no, you stopped me from saying those words long before I had the chance to. And the moment we begin to pretend to forget about the whole issue, I feel suffocated, nausea, guilty!!
There are too many wonders you brought into my life. But somehow, I feel I never appreciated you the way I should have. And if you're reading this, please don't say it's not my fault. Please don't say you love me just the way I am. It's not fair to you. For giving in each time ...

I'm constantly showered with overwhelming love and support from you and you're a gift from God. I should be more thankful. I should be more grateful. I was given the chance to have you in my life. To have you as part of me.
I feel I needed to let you go. Because by keeping you to myself and holding you back, I feel I'm the biggest jerk and the most self-centered person on earth.

Cause sincerely from the bottom of my heart, you deserve someone better.
Someone much much better.
Who will be able to return as much love you have been giving me.

I love you.

And nothing in this universe will be able to take that part of me that belongs to you, just you ...

Seriously, I can't stop grinning. :D

I just finished my one and only midterm paper; Computer Applications. Oh it was pretty good. I'd say it was definitely better than the first time I took the paper back in Sem 1. Lol. Actually, truth be told, when you're used to reading the same old crap each time, the crap will eventually stay in your head. Just the fact that, it's CRAP. Not something useful. Mind me, I'm not an avid reader of Computer Applications textbook. Yes, I love technology and the latest lappies in the market, and I do wish to get the latest version of Sony VAIO, but I most certainly DO NOT like the reading bit of technology. Still whatever it is, I'm truly glad that midterm is over. I could just go back to sleep right now, but then since I have too much looooobe for the Internet and technology, I decided not to.

Anyway, midterm break officially starts today for MMU. But of course, my beloved classmates, Wawa, Elle, Helmy headed back to KL much mucho earlier. And I was left alone in Ixora, MELAKA! all helpless, just me and my roommate, trying too hard for midterms but we ended up talking about cultural differences (wtf!?), reaching out to each other each time boredom strikes while listening to the echoes of our own voice in the middle of the night ... That was last night's agenda at A-09-03. Sad isn't it? Usually we would have several cooking sessions conducted by our Head Chef, Maryam Khalizan, followed by our Sou' Chef (howeveryouspellit) Hassena and followed by me; the food tester also known as The Judge. Usually the food finishes even before we could actually sit down and have a nice dinner. And that's NOT on my account, folks! Lol.

So yesterday I had 2 presentations - Politics & Governance and Islamic Legal History - and 2 assignments handed in. Phew! 4 killer tasks done in a day! Hooooraray to Me, Helmy, Wawa, Elle, Me, Encik Bibir, Jazmine and Papa!! Both presentations went quite smoothly. For Islamic, we got a pretty controversial topic - adultery- which perked up the interest of most our classmates. One classmate even requested a demonstration of adultery as she didn't understood the technical term. LOL. That was when my fellow groupmate turned tomato red when he was asked to demonstrate. Class bursted in laughter. Ustad Fahim laughed along. Oh well, not that he didn't enjoy the commotion. He was even more psyched than we were!

For Politics and Governance, I was late as usual and was sweating under the pits and tummy area when I reached ACR. Ewww, yes I KNOW. I was the victim for crying out loud!
As we all know, I've always had issues concerning heels, Ixora, ACR. To me the combination just spells out DISASTER. The rocky pathway and the ultimate distance added with complete burning sensation made things even worse. Ohh and did I mention? The elevator in ACR was jammed with lecturers and students with multiple types of eau de parfumes with NO air ventilation and the speed of a baby snail just to get to Level 1!
But everything felt right when Madam announced the few names of rather outstanding presenters. LOL. One of them is yours truly. HAHA. =p

I'm feeling pretty happy these past few days and as the headline goes, I can't stop grinning!! But I'm scared ... I'm scared I'll fall apart. I've always believed in one fact when I was growing up. Too much laughing will lead to teardrops. Too much happiness will lead to sorrow.
Therefore I don't want to go overbaord because I'm not ready for the happiness to be taken away. Nope, I'm not. I love where I am right now ...

Best I Ever Had. =)

It's been an exact month since I wrote my final entry. Guess final trimester has finally kept me busy. (it's cause i was playing too much for two trimesters) It was pretty relaxed and laidback for the first few weeks. But now, everything's jammed up. Truth be told, I almost gave up. I told daddo I couldn't cope it. I don't think Law is meant to be. But daddo was cool and helped me out. Thanks daddo. I love you. =)

Things as usual, are hectic in Ixora, but not for this weekend. Most of the residents are away in their hometown because today's a holiday. Unfortunately for me, I'm in Melaka still, all thanks to the drama presentation on Tuesday. My group and I didn't really feel the pressure until 12 PM today. Mainhall was packed with students from Management and Law, rehearsing their lines and acts. It was a nice atmosphere, though we started to have cold feet!

The weather in Melaka hasn't been behaving well since January. Friends and friends of friends and yours truly have been pretty sick often lately.
The weather routine is usually like this;
Early morning; cloudy and sunny.
Afternoon; drop dead blazing hot!
Evening; heavy rain with thunders.
Late evening; well it depends really ... sometimes it's windy and cool, otherwise it'll just be sticky, hot and the wind is somehow a standstill!! =(

The cause to misery!

I'm adding more songs to my playlist as I write. Yeay me! I'm updated with new songs, thanks to Moory! Haha. Well apparently we have tonnes in common, especially in music. He's a mean sarcastic guy, but he's alright! We keep the conversation going with mutual mockings and sarcasm remarks. Lol.

Anyways, just a song reccomendation here. If you get the chance to download Avenged Sevenfold's album, try to catch Dear God. It's pretty much an old song from this group, but it has never failed to get me each time I blast their song on the stereo. Lol.

Anyways, it's already 4 PM. I should get some sleep and memorise my lines. Tongiht at 8, drama practice again. I'm getting more and moooore excited! Hahaha.